Liberia: A Couple of 38 Years of Marriage Shares Love Experience to Commemorate Valentine’s Day
Monrovia – Valentine is that time of the year when some couples spend quality time with their loved ones and or romantic partners. Some even used that time to share or give gifts to those they love. Some, including married couples, take the time off to go to some special place to renew their love. For some of those who have stayed together for a relatively long time, may chose to offer pieces of advice to young couples.
This is what the Kaicoras, who are still together in their love boat after 38 years, did. Deacon George O. C. Von Kaicora and his wife, Rev. Charlotte P. Kaicora, have been married for over 38 unbroken years, since 1983. They are blessed with four sons and six grandchildren, including five granddaughters. Most importantly, they are still in love as they were when they just met in college, 40 years ago.
With divorces everywhere, the couple decided to take young Liberians down memory lane narrating how they fell in love with each other, how they have managed to stay in love and to still love each other. They decided to share their excellent secret and lesson about how to maintain a healthy marriage.
Rev. Charlotte P. Kaicora explained, “I met my husband at the Providence Baptist Church in 1981. I had just entered college. He used to sing in the male choir along with my brother.” Mrs. Kaicora further stated that at the time, they were only friends. But sometime later she noticed that he (George) started developing feelings for her. According to her, this made her freeze.
“Knowing the kind of popular person, he was with girls flooding all over him. He was tall and handsome, and because he sang in the choir, the girls were always behind him like flies and calling his name all over the place. Whenever he invited me to his house, and I saw so many girls there, I would just walk away and kept my distance,” she stated.
Rev. Kaicora further narrated that in her heart, she would converse with herself that she didn’t stand the chance of winning him over for herself as she was a mission girl and was afraid of the Monrovia girls.
She also stated that one of the reasons why the girls flirted with her boyfriend at that time was that he was also a very good cook and he always cooked for the girls. The Reverend further stated that inasmuch as she tried to sometime stay away after seeing the girls, her boyfriend was persistent in his quest to get her. “So, we got married on December 17, 1983, and we have been married for a little over thirty-eight years now.”
According to her, their marriage has lasted this long because she has always loved her husband. She told younger women today that if they want to have a healthy and long-lasting marriage, they should always love and respect their husbands. “They should not do anything that brings disgrace to him outside, because what makes a man shame, makes him angry.
“Throughout our time together, we have been there for each other, we respect each other. Even if I said anything harsh to George, I would feel guilty and go back and apologized,” she said
What has probably helped in their longevity, too, is her Christian upbringing and what she witnessed her mother endure in the hands of her father.
“I grew up in a Christian home with my parents; my mother was always there for me and my siblings. Buy my dad always had a second home. Sometimes I saw my mother chasing my father away from one girlfriend’s house to another, and I vowed never to marry a husband who would have a second home, and God gave me that husband. With all the things my father did to my mother, she withstood those tests of time and remained in her marriage. Because of that I promised myself to always remain in my marriage, no matter what happens,” Rev. Kaicora stated.
For her final words to younger wives, Rev. Kaicora said there is something her husband George always says, “Pillow talks”. “This means no matter how angry you are, settle your disputes inside your bedroom.
“I do not care how angry I am with George, I do not lash at him outside and if he is angry with me, he does not lash out at me. We wait to go into our bedroom and then I will say, Baby what you did to me outside, I felt bad, and he apologizes to me. So, the bedroom is there to iron up your differences, where you can apologize to one another,” she advised.
Deacon George Kaicora expressed no regrets and stressed that he made no mistake in marrying his wife with whom he has spent over 38 years together.
Responding to why he didn’t take any of the other girls, who flirted with him at that time, but his wife, he said, “Because among all the soups, there is always a particular soup, you will like. She was my best dish. Her ways and behavior were good. When she always came to my place and met the other girls, she would just walk away quietly, that sometimes I used to run behind her to ask why she was leaving. She was my missing rib. When I found my missing rib and it fitted correctly, I decided to have her, therefore I married her. When you are satisfied with what you have inside, you do not worry about finding anything outside.”
For him, his good recipe for a long-lasting marriage is love and understanding. He added: “When you have stayed with your partner for years, you will understand their moods to know what makes them happy and sad.
“When your partner is vexed, you should keep quiet, because love and understanding keep a marriage going. If you do not understand one another, you will always fuss and fight in front of your children,” he added.
He warned today’s young people and some older ones not to rush for marriage because they see other people getting marry. Deacon Kaicora also admonish parents, especially those ones who are always nagging their children about not wanting or making efforts to get marry when their aged mates are getting into it, to stop.
“Sometimes we the parents can mislead our children to make bad choices as a result, everyday they are tearing one another apart. This is the reason we have so many divorces happening today,” he said.
Deacon Kaicora jokingly told a story of a child, who was asked to give the past tense for marriage, and the child said divorce. “When he was asked why he said that because when a couple marries today, it’s in the present and when they divorce tomorrow, it is in the past, and that child was right,” he said as everyone burst into healthy laughter.
He sternly warns men who beat on their wives that it is not good for a man to beat his wife. He stressed that he should love her as he does his body and won’t want anything to hurt him.
“You cannot beat and abuse someone you love, but again, you find out that many men who beat their wives, saw their fathers beating their mothers, so it has become a part of them,” he said sadly.